First, let me say that I am not a fan of cockroaches. This past year, one of my students put a fake one on my desk as a practical joke. It didn’t go over well (for her or for me).
The best “disposal” of a roach I’ve seen was from my younger brother who once spiked a football at one.
The worst (and most dangerous, yet creative) attempt at a roach disposal was from my roommates when I was studying abroad. They tried to go after the cockroach with a lighter and hairspray. Not good.
This morning at church, I was standing in a pew near the front of church during hymns today, minding my own business, when a cockroach crawled on the floor nearby. I jumped, of course, and turned to see if anyone else had noticed it. No one had. I turned to a boy behind me, pointed out the roach, and asked if he could get him. I thought it was appropriate, because the roach was on it’s way to visit his pew. Unfortunately for me, but good for the roach, the little bugger was fast and went to visit some other churchgoers.
I moved to a pew at the back of church.
Not too long after that, as I was sitting listening to the sermon, the roach decided that he missed me. There he was, crawling up near me again. I jumped. Again. I put my feet up on the pew (not easy in a dress on a narrow pew). I flapped my scriptures to scare off the bug, but he kept coming back. Again and again. I told the people behind me, but they just looked annoyed that I was talking during the sermon.
I moved to the other side of the church.
On the way, I passed one of the ladies in my handbell group. I told her about the roach. She jumped (Finally, someone who understood!) and looked on alert. I sat down and saw her wink at me as she lifted her purse high off the ground! The roach never ventured my way again, but I kept an eye in his direction. Still, I kept expecting him to make his way across the church for a visit…